Video Tips: What to Do When Your Person with Dementia is Looking for Someone Who is No Longer Living

It can be challenging to know what to do when someone with dementia is searching for someone who is no longer alive.

When we continue to remind them over and over again that the person has died, it is as if they are experiencing the grief of loss repeatedly. This approach is painful for them.

We as caregivers may feel as if we need to be honest with them and make sure that they truly understand what has happened. However, what they need more than honesty is feeling peace and trust.

A better approach would be coming up with a solution that makes sense to them. If it’s during the day, you could say that the person is at work. If it’s in the evening, you could say that the person is at church, at a men’s group, at Kiwanis, or out golfing – whatever the deceased person used to do during those times.

This techique works best for those with Alzheimer’s, or those late in the illness of other types of dementia. It doesn’t work as well for those with short-term memory loss.